Satire

A real newspaper article.

Alaskan natives get church apologies

JUNEAU, Alaska (AP) - One by one, clergymen took to the pulpit to solemnly apologize for their churches' past wrongs against Alaska's Indians. Aleuts and Eskimos and ask the native congregation for forgiveness.
   In the 200 years since missionaries brought Christianity to Alaska, "we have responded with fear, suspicion, arrogance, hostility and a patronizing attitude that treats your people like children," said the Rev. Jerry Olson. pastor of Resurrection Lutheran Church.
   "I pray for your forgiveness for our sins against your people."
   Natives expressed their gratitude for the apologies by clergy from Juneau's Roman Catholic, Lutheran, Russian Orthodox and Presbyterian churches, and summoned up the pain they endure from lingering prejudice against their rich cultures.
   The two-hour service at the Northern Light United Church on Wednesday night was officiated by Father John Hascall, an Ojibwa medicine man and Catholic priest from Sault Ste. Marie, Mich., known for his Indian healing ceremonies.
   "I don't want you to feel sorry for us." Hascall told the congregation of 200, many indigenous Alaskans.

   "I want you to look at us as native people, as people of sovereign nations, which we are. As people of high morals. As people of high respect. As people who want to be equal.
   "We have not been equals to this day," Hascall said, "We have not been able to stand with our heads held high to this day."
   The service, delivered partly in native languages, began with a traditional Indian blessing of the congregation.
   Cy Peck Jr. of Juneau, a 57-year-old Tingit Indian, walked down the church aisles with a dish of cedar embers, fanning the smoke with a large eagle feather.
   Dressed in a simple robe covered by two beaded medicine sashes, the deep-voiced Hascall chanted in prayer while shaking an Indian rattle.
   Atop the altar, next to a large Bible, were offerings of tobacco - "the medicine of our people," Hascall said.
   He spoke of the natives' appreciation and respect for the land and wildlife, and of the changes wrought upon Mother Earth by the white man. "Our mother has been raped and hurt so many times. And this hurts us."
  

Then it was time for the apologies. "Tonight I humbly ask your forgiveness for the blunders, for the times the Catholic missionaries here have failed to appreciate the depth of native spirituality and to affirm the beauty of native language, native culture. native tradition, native art," Catholic Bishop Michael Kinny said.
   Kenny, who organized the service, later was presented with an eagle feather, a symbol of respect.
   The Rev. Lew Rooker, pastor of the host Methodist-Presbyterian church, read from a resolution passed earlier this month by the Presbytery of Alaska. which acknowledged the church's mistakes.
   Presbyterian missionaries, 'with best intentions of bringing the gospel to Alaska, were among those who misunderstood the nature and purpose of native culture and artifacts." the resolution said.
   To this day, some Alaskans mistakenly believe totem poles are idols, Rooker said. The continuing destruction of native graves and looting of artifacts is "a kind of violence against some of' God's children," he said.
   Elders recalled how they were banned from speaking their native languages in school and made to feel ashamed of their culture

Ecclesiastics 1:9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. 

Cannan's natives get temple apologies

SAMARIA, Canaan (OT) - One by one, Priests and Levites took to the pulpit to solemnly apologize for their temple's past wrongs against Canaan's natives. Parazites, Hivites and Jebusites and ask the native congregations for forgiveness.
   In the 200 years since Joshua crossed the Jordan and brought the Hebrew religion to Palestine, "we have responded with fear, suspicion, arrogance, hostility and a patronizing attitude that treats your people like children," said the Levite Jerry Olsonstein, pastor of Resurrection Mosaic Church.
   "I pray for your forgiveness for our sins against your people." Natives expressed their gratitude for the apologies by prophets from Bethlehem, Jerusalem and Samaria's high places, and summoned up the pain they endure from lingering prejudice against their rich cultures.
   The two-hour service at the Northern Kingdom Unitarian United Temple on Wednesday night was officiated by Levite John Schuller, a Canaanite medicine man from Babylon ordained to the Levitical priesthood, known for his Moabite healing ceremonies.
   "I don't want you to feel sorry for us." Schuller told the congregation

of 200, a integrated mixture of Hebrews and indigenous Canaanites.
  "I want you to look at us as native people, as people of sovereign nations, which we are. As people of high morals. As people of high respect. As people who want to be equal.
   We have not been equals to this day," Schuller said, "We have not been able to stand with our heads held high to this day."
   The service, delivered partly in native languages, began with a traditional Balaam blessing of the congregation.
   Oral Bobstein Jr. of Ashdod, a 57-year-old Midianite, walked down the church aisles with a dish of cedar embers, fanning the smoke with a large eagle feather.
   Dressed in a simple robe covered by two beaded medicine sashes, the deep-voiced Bobstein chanted in prayer while shaking a Hitite rattle.
   Near the altar, on the table of shewbread, were offerings of opium - "the medicine of our people," Schuller said.
   He spoke of the natives' appreciation and respect for the land and wildlife, and of the changes wrought upon Mother Earth by the Hebrew. "Our mother has been raped and hurt so many times. And this hurts us."  

   Then it was time for the apologies."
   Tonight I humbly ask your forgiveness for the blunders, for the times the Hebrew missionaries here have failed to appreciate the depth of native spirituality and to affirm the beauty of Canaanite language, Hivite culture, Jebusite tradition, native art,' Rabbi William Gham said.
   Gham, who organized the service, later was presented with an eagle feather, a symbol of respect.
   The Levite Les Cooker, pastor of the host local high place, read from a resolution passed earlier this month by the Sanhedrin at Jerusalem which acknowledged the Hebrew mistakes.
   Hebrew missionaries, "with the best intentions of bringing the worship of Yahweh to Palestine, were among those who misunderstood the nature and purpose of native culture and artifacts,'' the resolution said.
   To this day, some Hebrews mistakenly believe totem poles are idols, Cooker said. The continuing destruction of Canaanite graves and looting of artifacts is "a kind of violence against some of 'God's children,' he said.
   Canaanites recalled how they were banned from speaking their native languages in school and made to feel ashamed of their culture.

Please use your browser's back button to return to the prior page.

Bible Course HOME PAGE - click here.